We won't sleep together?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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