I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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