I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
