that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize