Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if only i could text you this smell
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize