i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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