i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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