I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
