do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
