It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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