just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
