She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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