Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize