Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
