and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You smell like stripper and shame
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
