I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
