Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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