I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
