You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to align my fucking chakras
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
