Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
