That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
