Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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