And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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