I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
