can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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