the condom got lost in my hair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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