dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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