like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
