Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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