I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
