im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
