u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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