i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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