Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
