Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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