barbara walters just said penis...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
