i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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