dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
