Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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