11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
