This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
