Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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