i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
