around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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