i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Rumble strips road head = magical
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
