Im at strip club and am horny
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Randomize
