I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
