Screwed.edu
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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