It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
