So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I believe in your delicious
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
