drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
