I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
