we're blogging at a bar
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
