i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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