Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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