talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
