The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
