i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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