It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
