i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
