Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
